Sometimes Before a Rainbow, You Need Some Rain

Today I experienced one of the worst pains I have ever been in. Keep in mind that I have had chronic pain for seven years... The worst pain I've been in, before today, was my wisdom teeth (I developed dry socket in two of the four holes... yay) and my laparoscopy. Today however, was "just" my IUD placement. 

None of my doctors have found a solution to anything yet. My bone doctor thought I had a tumor on my spine which was causing the back pain, but my MRI was perfectly normal. As for my pediatric gynecologist, she decided that the Lupron injections were doing more damage than good at this point. Not only have I gained 30 lbs and been pretty depressed since starting Lupron 2 years ago, but now it's starting to affect my bone density which could turn into osteoporosis if I continue Lupron for too long, so two weeks ago was my last injection. 

Obviously we can't let my hormone levels come back up too much or else the endometriosis will flare up, so my doctor placed an IUD this morning. I knew there was going to be some cramping, but after a year of no periods, I forgot just how bad endo cramps can get. It felt like someone stabbed a knife into my uterus and then twisted it around a little, and then when they were done, it felt like I had a brick sitting on my tailbone. It's 12 hours later and I am only a little better. For a good 40 min after the procedure all I could do was rock back and forth and try to remain conscious. A 10 min procedure took an hour because of the excruciating pain I was in. 

Not to mention that my mom didn't take me to my appointment today, so she wasn't there to comfort me, which was very hard. My dad took me and as much as I know how badly he wishes he could help me, neither of us wanted him in the room while I was getting my IUD. However, my doctor, the amazing woman she is, was there holding my hand and holding me to help me get through it. She is amazing and I am going to be her one day. 

Now I am not writing about my severe pain to get anyone to feel bad for me or to scare people out of getting an IUD, but I am writing this to emphasize that sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. For all I know, this IUD could save my social and mental life, but it wouldn't have a chance if I didn't go through the horrid experience today.

My main goal with this blog is to raise awareness about woman's health (mainly about how crappy it can be), but what really keeps me going is the smallest chance of a young girl out there who doesn't know what is going on, or who feels she is alone in this world, will find this blog and find the motivation to persevere like 1 in 10 women do everyday who struggle with endo. So whether you are that young girl, or any girl, or any person really, I hope that you know that eventually things will get better, and sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better, so keep going.